Flat Iron.

Last week I went to Flat Iron for lunch because it was my birthday and everyone should eat a steak on their birthday.

I¬†have heard loads of people banging on about this place, so I¬†thought we would have to queue for sure as you can’t book. Me and my friend arrived at about 12:45pm and we were seated straight away, which I was pleasantly surprised by.

Once seated we were delivered a mug of beef dripping popcorn – I won’t lie it kind of tasted like normal popcorn but I did have a bit of a cold so my palette might not have been on top form.

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The menu is simple, we both ordered the Flat Iron Steak and a couple of sides to share.

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The best bit is that you get a little baby meat cleaver. You don’t really need the cleaver because the steak is already sliced up but it’s good for being an Instagram dick and pretending to be a serial killer.

The food arrived quickly, which is good if you are a business man like me.

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The meat was amazing. Really really soft and just better than I ever imagined it would be. Here is a picture of the steak next to a grown bald man so you can see how big it is. When it first came out I thought it looked a bit small, but it was actually just the right amount.

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I know I’m just jumping on the Flat Iron hype, but it really is pretty good and for ¬£10 you can’t go wrong. Go and see for yourself.

hawksmoor seven dials.

hawksmoor has been on my restaurant wish list for quite a long time and on saturday my dreams came true. my mum and dad were coming down to london to see les mis√©rables which also coincided with my birthday. they didn’t get me a ticket to see the show (thanks) but they did want to take me for dinner at 5pm. my mum told me she had booked a table at a tapas restaurant which i was fine with but i had subtlety mentioned about five times that i would rather go to hawksmoor. when we got off the tube i started walking towards the tapas restaurant and my mum was stressing out and faffing around with google maps which annoyed me because i knew where we were going. technology was failing her and she eventually cracked and said “ok we’re going to hawksmoor!”.

what a prankster. i was over the moon.

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we arrived at the seven dials restaurant and i knew it was going be good because everyone that was already eating looked really content. it was quite quiet as we were so early which i was happy about. our waitress was really nice and explained all the different cuts of meat whilst my mum and dad looked bored because they already know stuff about cows.

i was absolutely hanging out of my arse because i’d had four hours sleep after going out in soho the night before, but the hawksmoor collins cocktail called out to me (i have to try anything that has my surname in it). i think the gin and campari actually made me feel better.

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to start with we ordered the tamworth belly ribs and roast scallops with white wine and garlic. the ribs were sensational and so soft they melted in the mouth. i could have just had one of those and gone home happy. my mouth is watering thinking about them.

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i have to be in the mood for scallops, unfortunately this was not one of those days. i tried a little bit and felt like i was going to be sick on my legs so i let my dad have mine. he said they were bloody lovely.

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for my main i ordered the rib eye, my dad got the rump and my mum got half a lobster. she said the lobster was much better than the one she had at burger and lobster. we also got some creamed spinach, beef dripping fries, triple cooked chips and roast field mushrooms. this meal happened 24hrs ago and i am still full up. my steak was massive and cooked perfectly.

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i loved everything about this meal. i ¬†would really like to go back to hawksmoor to try out their roast dinner as i’ve heard it’s fabulous. if you would like to take me then that would be ok.

cafe de mort.

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last tuesday i did some really dangerous things and i could have died but i didn’t and i lived to tell the tale so now i will tell you that tale.

the first dangerous thing was that i met a person off the internet and went for dinner with them with some other strangers. the second dangerous thing was that i ate some of the most deadliest food in the world. the third was that i ate an apple without washing it.

i was invited to cafe de mort, to eat some of the most dangerous foods in the world that could have killed me if they weren’t prepared properly. the reason for this is because remember a charity are trying to make people think about leaving a gift to charity in their wills.

luckily jo from sheloveslondon had been invited so i asked her if she wanted to be my wing man and thankfully she said yes. i was scared she was going to be a freak but luckily she was only 10% weird and she didn’t try to murder me so i think it’s ok to meet people off the internet now.

when we arrived at the door there was a st johns ambulance man and we had to sign a waiver, i didn’t read it properly but i think it basically said don’t blame us if you die.

we were then offered a cocktail that was laced with absinthe, and told that if we had more than two of them we would die from liver failure. i conveniently forgot this and offered jo my drink as i didn’t really like it, so she drank two and is probably dead now.

the first course we were served was¬†pufferfish (fugu) and was actually my favourite dish of the night. the menu said “although we take every care to remove the poison before serving there is unfortunately, no known antidote”. i let the others try theirs before i picked up my chopsticks, everyone was very quiet but breathing so i thought it would be ok. it was actually really nice and tasted a bit like squid.

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every course was accompanied with a cocktail and the worst thing that passed my lips last night was the snake wine. i am still a bit devastated that i drank something which has had a snake in it. it smelt like a dead snake that had been soaked in vinegar and unhappiness for 12 years.

next we had curried ackee pattie with ghost chilli, officially the world’s hottest chilli. gregg wallace came over to our table and i asked him if it was really really hot and he said it wasn’t and he wasn’t even lying.

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this is a bloody mary that contained irish moonshine (known to cause severe headaches and blindness). i already had a headache so i can’t comment on that part.

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this macaroon contained hydrogen cyanide, we were warned not to ask for seconds and i didn’t really like it so that worked out well for me.

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sometimes it’s nice to do different things even if you might die.

honest burger.

i went to the new honest burger in soho on friday to try out their special christmas burger because it sounded wonderful.

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i have been looking forward to going to honest burger for quite a long time because everyone says it is better than byron and as good as meat liquor. i am still undecided. i think i made some bad decisions though so i am going to blame myself for feeling a bit sad about my experience.

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my first bad decision was that i got my burger cooked medium rather than medium rare. i think this was the reason why i found the beef quite dense and not as juicy as i’d hoped. my second mistake was ordering the christmas burger (which cost ¬£11.50) and ignoring the fact that it would come covered in cranberry (not a massive fan).

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the camembert and bacon was lovely but slightly overpowered by the sweetness of the cranberry. my friends ordered the honest burger and i was so jealous i clenched my fists under the table and tried not to cry. the third thing i wasn’t sure about were the rosemary chips, they were just too salty for me. i enjoyed my can of coke.

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the restaurant is quite small so be prepared to queue (we waited for about 15 mins, but it was a friday lunchtime). i think i will go back and make sure i get a medium rare honest burger which will hopefully make me feel a bit happier.

amen

pulled pork.

i love pulled pork so i decided to make some. my mum and dad have invented their own bbq sauce which they’ve been wowing their friends with, and i¬†was going to make their version but there were a lot of ingredients that i didn’t have so i decided to do a cheats version instead.¬†i’ve seen a lot of recipes recently that involve using a litre of coke but this scares me a bit so i just decided to make up my own version and hope for the best.

my first decision was whether to use pork shoulder or ribs. my parents use shoulder, but the ribman told me i should use ribs, so i went with ribs.

i’m really proud of how it turned out. it’s honestly so easy as well, you just have to give yourself a good 4/5 hours to leave it to cook.

what you need:

2 racks of pork ribs
smoked paprika
chilli powder
garlic
salt
pepper

bbq sauce of choice (i used econa jerk bbq)
worcestershire sauce

bread rolls
red cabbage
coleslaw
gherkins

what to do:

1. dry rub the ribs with smoked paprika, chilli powder, salt and pepper

2. fill baking tray with an inch of water and place the ribs on tray. chuck in a few peeled garlic cloves

3. cover with tin foil

4. place in oven (fan 150c) for 3.5 hours

5. take out and coat in bbq sauce and worcestershire sauce

6. cook for another hour

7. pull meat off the bone (it should fall off easily)

8. serve in buns with red cabbage, gherkins and coleslaw

9. pretend you’re on man vs food and stuff your face

the meat was so soft and melted off the bone. when i started cooking i was worried that 2 racks of ribs wouldn’t be enough, but this would easily make enough for 4 people. i’m having the leftovers for¬†my tea tonight :)

i’m going to make this again soon but will experiment with pork shoulder and making my own bbq sauce. will let you know how it goes boys!

the big feastival.

a couple of saturdays ago i had an amazing time in a field. don’t worry i wasn’t cow tipping or dogging, i was just having a nice time at the jamie oliver big feastival. this was basically a food and music festival, on alex james’ farm (that fella that likes cheese from blur) in oxfordshire. i was really sweet and took my mum and dad with me because my mum was still pissed off that i didn’t take her to the cube.

for some reason electrolux had decided to give me a press pass, so i thought i would see what this entitled me to.

first of all we attended a mark sargeant demo in the electrolux kitchen. it was fun to see him making some pasta in front of our very eyes. after the demo we went to the vip bar area and used the posh toilets and had some champagne. jeremy clarkson was sat there with his wife getting drunk. i think they were having a nice time.

there were also lots of other famous chefs doing demos including jamie oliver, he must have been so tired on monday. my mum literally let out an uncontrollable squeal every time valentine warner walked past us.

we had seen some people eating massive fish fingers so we went to see what was going on at the food stalls. we found the mark hix fish dog wagon and decided to give it a bash. it cost £5 and it basically was just a big fish finger in a bun with mushy peas. it was good. i also had a brewdog so that i looked really festival. my dad got a byron burger because he had never had one before and i was a bit jealous.


after eating i ditched my mum and dad for a bit and met up with my friends. we wandered around and sat on deck chairs drinking really strong mojitos. i don’t really like festivals that much but this was a really nice festival because it wasn’t mental busy, just nice busy. the queues weren’t ridiculous and you could get seats if you wanted to have a rest. i was also really grateful for access to the nice toilets.

after a few drinks and my fish dog i was feeling quite confident and i decided to see if my green wristband could get me backstage. in my head i just kept saying “i am beyonce, i am beyonce”. luckily this seemed to work. me and my friend glided backstage with ease. once there we didn’t really know what to do so we helped ourselves to some beers from one of the dressing rooms and had a chat with some of the backing singers.

one of them let me use her iphone charger because i was on 11%. i think she thought i was important or that i had something wrong with me and i’d won a competition. whilst we sat there trying to look relaxed gaz coombes and alex james walked around chain smoking. paloma faith also appeared briefly and said hello. it was really fun.

we decided to go find everyone in case they were worried we had been escorted from the site. on the way out we gave the security man a nod and said we would be back later. suckerrrrr.

after all that excitement we decided to get something else to eat and i had been eyeing up barbecoa all day so we headed in that direction. i was going to get pulled pork but i didn’t think it would be as good as pitt cue so i went for the chilli cheese dog. it was a very tasty sausage but very messy to eat.

we then decided to go backstage again because the noisettes and paloma faith were about to perform. i also wanted to meet jamie oliver a little bit so i could tell him that when i went to his italian the olives made me really thirsty. this time round we decided to try our luck and sneaked on to the side of the stage so that we had the best view. it was amazing, we stood there with a couple of the stage crew and got to watch both performances whilst looking out to a sea of people. i really really wanted to run out on to the stage but i didn’t think my mum would like it.

when paloma faith finished her set we had a chat with her and i said well done. she said that there were lots of technical difficulties but i said i didn’t notice. then i had my picture taken with her then i went home.

i’ve cropped my face out of this because i didn’t like it and it adds a sense of mystery.

thank you very much to electrolux, it was so much fun and my mum now wants to buy one of your induction hobs so well done to you too.

dane’s yard kitchen

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on thursday i was really brave and ventured all the way to stratford. the reason for this was because myself and my colleague had been invited to check out a new restaurant called dane’s yard kitchen.

it was really weird going to a blogger event as a guest rather than being on the other side with clammy hands and a clipboard. i had a really good night though. we were greeted with a mojito and some tasty bar snacks, then we played some ping pong, then we had another cocktail, then we were fed some burgers and cheesecake. we also met some really nice people and some of them told me i smelt nice, so i told them i was an angel.

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if you’re looking for a venue in stratford where you can eat, drink and play ping pong then def take a look at this place, it’s got a huge patio and soon you’ll be able to go to the top of the east strand (the big statue that looks like the olympic torch).

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